"I'm Alive" Kenny Chesney & Dave Matthews

I havent written anything for a little while so i decided that it was time again this afternoon. i am not feeling so well right now. physically. nothing major just dont feel well.
i was thinking this weekend that women are pretty amazing creatures. not all good amazing but amazing none the less. women can be pretty cold hearted. the worst part is to be knowingly cold-hearted. u know what i mean? i was feeling pretty low after i attended a friends baby shower. this is someone that i have known since high school and we are both now 32. we lost touch with one another for a really long time but have since gotten back in touch. and this sort of incidence is not the first time for something like this to happen. but she just acted like she didnt even care that i was around. everyone/thing was more important. she didnt even acknowledge that i said things. at one point i repeated myself 3 times to her in front of the group of women and she didnt even look my way. then she told everyone what i had just told her 3 times when i thought that she hadnt heard me. it was embarassing to keep telling her thinking she didnt hear me. i hate other people and the way they think that nothing they do hurts ur feelings. i know that maybe her being like that probably had nothing to do with me at all but it just felt so embarrassing.
i sent out an invite to all of the new mommies and soon-to-be-mommies for lunch. it was for this past monday. i dreaded it all weekend bc i thought that they were all just waiting for the last minute to respond. out of 12 invitees only 1 person came. wow. u can only imagine how i felt. totally and completely rejected. i cant really understand what is wrong with me. i am not unattractive. i am not overwieght and i just had a baby. i am always walking now to keep the belly flat. i am always nice to everyone. whatever. just sucks that people are so rude. i would not do that to someone else. but that is just what makes me different from them. i care.
well... i would write more but i really feel like shit today. body hurts all over. take care blooger universe.