Paloma Faith... When You're Gone

Today has bn a little quiet. A little difficult.
I cried for my dad tonight. This song is how I feel. How I feel about the relationship that has just ended and about how love has bn in my life.

Lyrics:
"When I'm with you my heart sings of a joy
And everything washes over me and cleans me 'til I'm shining
For your touch there are no words
I fly with high hopes in the birds
And I know there's nothing better 'cause I'm smiling

Everyone I've ever loved has left me lonely
Every time I let it go I'm high and dry
Every time I think I'm one and only
I find myself alone not knowing why

All the mystery and the magic
You light up what once was tragic
And I know that I will miss you when you're gone
I could never have imagined
All the heavens pour with passion
But I know that I will miss you when you're gone

You tell me that you are different
I'll be saved and I'll be lifted
It's not easy but I'm trying to believe you
All the angels lost their halos
I have no choice but to let go
There are times when I feel paper thin and see-through

Everyone I've ever loved has left me lonely
Every time I let it go I'm high and dry
Every time I think I'm one and only
I find myself alone not knowing why

All the mystery and the magic
You light up what once was tragic
And I know that I will miss you when you're gone
I could never have imagined
All the heavens pour with passion
But I know that I will miss you when you're gone

When you're gone [x2]
You're gone

Everyone I've ever loved has left me lonely
Every time I let it go I'm high and dry

All the mystery and the magic
You light up what once was tragic
And I know that I will miss you when you're gone
I could never have imagined
All the heavens pour with passion
But I know that I will miss you when you're gone

When you're gone [x2]
You're gone

When I'm with you my heart sings of a joy
And everything..
And I know that I will miss you when you're gone."

I hv started every relationship telling the other person "u will only b here X amount of time." And guess what... It happens. They leave or hurt me somehow where I shut down. Or they start to love me and I shut down. Or they just disappear. No word of y or goodbye. Just gone. Poof!
My dad... I was a daddy's girl for sure. When he left it was so traumatic that it happened when I was 5 and I remember all the details of it and cn relive it n my mind as if it just happened. He was suppose to b my hero. I was suppose to call him when I hurt later n life on things and say "daddy I need u" but he left. Killed my soul. I need him. I talked with a great friend tonight and trying to come to terms with y every prominent relationship that I hv had n my life has bn with a man that was emotionally unavailable. Promises that were always broken. And my friend did help me realize that n all these relationships I was trying to make my dad stay. I am somehow trying to fix him and make him stay but like I told them... I cnt fix him. He already left me. And I don't knw what happened to my dad to make him the recluse he is today. I don't knw. I was thinking about it and started thinking that's y I hv to somehow start doing the opposite. Stop running from the relationships that start on fire. Or they cn b on fire but I cnt give into it. Hv to stay slow for awhile. Anyways. What ever. I just want to disappear somehow. Another song... Will.i.am ... Scream and Shout (feat. Britney Spears)